Monday, February 27, 2006 


This would be me, today, at work. People out sick, people going home early, me trying to do it all.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKK!!!


Thought I'd share.

Saturday, February 25, 2006 

I've been e-mooned..

I'm sure most of you have seen this but it still makes me laugh everytime I do.. So here ya go!

HAPPY SATURDAY!

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass


You have just been e-mooned!

Friday, February 24, 2006 

Crappy ass day.

This day has just been SUCKY! From the moment that I walked outside my front door, and the traffic was RIDICULOUS... it was all icy and frosty and it took me FOREVER to get to work. THEN the first phone call I received was some dumb whore yelling at me for no good damn reason. I thought "this day is gonna SUCK!" But then another friend of mine called me to tell me he proposed to his girlfriend and is getting married. He's SO excited and so happy it was hard not to be happy with him. That was a bright side. But it didn't totally lift my spirits, so, my favorite friend sent me this to cheer me up. I've seen it before, but it is an oldie AND a goody!!! So enjoy, it made ME happy, at least for a bit. ;o)

HAPPY FRIDAY BABY!

ANGER MANAGEMENT:
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a
phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A
man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I
please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on
me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down
Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two
digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call
the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I
yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole'
next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I
was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,
"You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, This
is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're
familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a par king spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his
car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right
after calling the first asshole (I had His number on speed dial,) I
thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the
man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, It is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the
car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen! , Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my
speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I ca me up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he
asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers!"
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way home to kill my lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew. NOW I feel much better. You know, this anger management stuff REALLY WORKS!

Thursday, February 23, 2006 

Damn funny...

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Mary Muffmuncher


That's pretty damn funny stuff there! Everyone should try it...


Wednesday, February 22, 2006 

Spaghetti?

So I'm hosting our "Survivor" get together tomorrow night at my place. Yep, we're a bunch of dorks that get together, watch Survivor, eat good food, drink good drink, and always end with a yummy dessert. It's fun, but it's stressful when it's at my house. We rotate every week, so it'll be another 6 weeks or so before it's back at my place. I suppose I can suck it up. I'm thinking I'll just serve up some spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, and grab something that looks good for dessert.

Sad though, when it's at my place people have to sit on the floor. Wish I had more chairs.

That's my update for today, man I've gotten frickin BORING in my old age!

Monday, February 20, 2006 

President's Day



Happy President's Day!

Friday, February 17, 2006 

Ya, um, ok? SO?

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum.
"Kill! Kill!"

 

Congrats to LMP, I like her.



They got married, and I think that's cool. Even if people think she's a little off (what with the whole Michael Jackson thing), I like her.

So congrats to Lisa Marie Presley!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006 

Yahoo done good.

Yesterday, as you could plainly see, I was totally annoyed with Yahoo. I jumped through more hoops to get my information straight it was just plain silly. Or so I thought.

In retrospect, if it was easy for me to get my information out of Yahoo, that would mean it would be easy for ANYONE to get my information from Yahoo. Well, after everything was said and done, my account was fixed, everything is now right in my world. I even got a personalized response to an e-mail that I sent them and it went a little something like this:

"We're glad our information helped you. We are continually working to make Yahoo! better, so we are always willing to help in any way that we can. If you have any other issues that arise in the future, please don't hesitate to contact us.Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care. Regards,Damian"

That was in response to my e-mail that simply said "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!"

So I'll keep my Yahoo account, and be happy about it. Thanks again Yahoo, you fixed my problems and reinforced the fact that security is important to you.

YIPPEEE FOR YAHOOO!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 


I'm so annoyed with Yahoo right now. Of course they are VERY tricky and don't give any phone number information anywhere so I can call and bitch at them. I'm desperately trying to get into my e-mail, and I can't. It suddenly doesn't recognize me. This is an account I have had for ohh the past 8 years or so??? And of course in my infinite wisdom I've never once updated my personal account, so I have NO idea what my "secret question" was, or even what zip code I as living in at the time that I signed up. So trying to get help is about impossible. They better not delete my information or my head will explode. Oh it will, IT WILL! And it won't be pretty. No siree bob! Whatever man I just want to check my FREAKING e-mail.

Anyway... Last night we had a thunder storm that scared the bejeezus out of me! It was so loud and so close to my house that everything shook and I couldn't hear the damn t.v. over it. It was amazing! The lightning lit up my entire house. It was CRAZY!!! The cat freaked out and ran under the bed.. well more like did the military crawl to under the bed. Didn't see her again for about 4 hours. It was nuts I say, NUTS! Then it poured rain. Weird that never happens here. ;o)

Oh and I suppose the fact that it's Valentine's day should be mentioned. The only thing I can say is that the boss keeps yelling "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY" to everyone who walks in. Being that I could give two shits that it's valentine's day, my response when she did it was "ah huh". Now everyone thinks I'm a big grumpy grump. Which let's face it, I probably am.

So um, ya, happy whatever... I don't have it in me. More coffee! Maybe then I'll feel like coming back and saying something witty and clever. For now that's it for me!

Saturday, February 11, 2006 

Drunk calls

Never ever call someone in the middle of the night, say you don't know where you are and that you THINK you're about 50 miles from home, if you're KIDDING! That's not a funny joke! It's not FUNNY!

A friend of mine did that last night. He accidentally hit my name in his phonebook and decided to tease me and tell me he was too drunk to know where he was and then proceeded to ask me to come out and "party" with him. Of course I'm saying "don't drive home!" and "call me and I'll come and get you!" and all the normal stuff you say... and then I freaked out about it thinking he was going to drive home and get in an accident or whatever.

I called this morning and talked to his wife and as it turns out he was with her the whole time, they were at the Casino and he thought it would be FUNNY to MESS with me!

Ya that's not FREAKIN FUNNY BEN! GOD!

Okey doke, that's it for this morning. Going to put my coffee iv in.

Thursday, February 09, 2006 

I like her...

Check this out:

http://spaceface01.blogspot.com/

I like her... she's moving to Seattle, and I don't even mind. (Usually it PISSES me OFF when people move here, we don't need anymore people and don't get me STARTED on the traffic, but it sounds like she really loved it when she visited, so who am I to judge... LOL)

So, go check her out, and maybe if we post this enough times out in cyberspace her mom will get the hint. ;o)

Good luck on the move, keep us updated, I'm looking forward to checking out the progress.

P.S. - I've added the link over to my "remotely interesting" sites.

 

New Link

That I find remotely entertaining. SlightlyDrunk.com - I added him to my links cuz I like him. ;o) Happy Thursday!

 

What the...


I always love what Teri Hatcher is wearing at awards shows. She has that perfect figure that makes everything look wonderful on her...

Until now. What the HELL is THAT? WHAT? I don't GET it...

Whatever man. She needs to have a little chit chat with her stylist boy howdy!!!!

Monday, February 06, 2006 

I'm just sayin'....

 

One more article that sums it up...

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs05/columns/story?columnist=smith_michael&id=2320683&lpos=tv1&lid=tab3pos1

He says it all....

Still bummed by the way!

 

BUMMER!

Some quotes from our local newspaper on this sad day credited to Steve Kelley:

"They will look at the game film later this week and realize they should have been ahead about 24-0 at halftime. They will see that they kicked the Pittsburgh Steelers up and down Ford Field",

"But they will also see the blizzard of mistakes and they will wince at what might have been.".

Our stats for the game were decent, we beat Pittsburgh in rushing yards, first downs, and passing yards. And that makes it sound like we won... And we probably SHOULD have won.

The calls were questionable at best.. and then there were the calls that were just plain BAD. That WASN'T a touchdown, he MOVED the ball over the line after he was down. That WAS a touchdown, there was no pass interference... Pittsburgh called time out AFTER the play clock was at zero... it was crazy I say. Realistically had we received the touchdown we should have, and had Pittsburgh not been allowed their touchdown, even if nothing else happened in the game, we would have won by 3. After all the bad calls the momentum just fell from there. We dropped passes that should have been caught, that sad little interception was ugly, and we just didn't pull it together to make up for the bad calls....

In the end no one played a great game, it was mediocre football at best. Pittsburgh did a decent job in the second half and pulled it out. Can't turn back time, so we'll just go with the old Seattle adage of "we'll get 'em next year"!

But hey, Seattle made it to the SUPERBOWL!!!! That's CRAZY! And awesome... (let's just pray that Shaun Alexander signs with us for next year!).

Sunday, February 05, 2006 

Onanite Online

Onanite Online

I like him.. and not only because he loves the Seahawks. ;o)

 

Cuz we're CRAZY














THIS guy thinks his teams gonna beat my team http://georgeglarson.blogspot.com/ ... he actually pttthhh'd me!!!!! But I say we're just CRAZY enough to do it baby! So I'm going to NEENER NEENER NEENER right back at him.

GO SEAHAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO HOOOO!!!!

6 1/2 hours to go, YA BABY!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, February 04, 2006 

Holy Wind Batman

That about sums it up - windy windy windy - gusts up to 70 mph! If it knocks out power, it better be back on on Sunday!!!!!

That's it for today, better turn this computer off. Happy Saturday!

Friday, February 03, 2006 

Interesting, very interesting...

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

 

Storm

There is a storm brewing here in Seattle. We are supposed to get 60 - 70 mph winds tomorrow afternoon. That should wipe the power out most places.. which..

will REALLY PISS ME OFF! IF I MISS THE SUPERBOWL BECAUSE THE POWER IS OUT I'M GOING TO BE MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD!!!

So tonight I guess I'll get some more candles, grab a flashlight and pray that our fine weather folks have messed up YET again and nothing will happen. Wish me luck!!!

On a lighter note, I have added another link to my list of links that I love... It's the Happy Bunny site. If you've never seen the happy bunny, you must click on the link and go check it out. It's great stuff man!!!

Happy Friday - GO SEAHAWKS!

Thursday, February 02, 2006 

Sweet conversation with my nephew

This happened awhile ago, but I thought I'd share. Straight from the mouths of babes I tell ya. My nephew is 8. This happened when they were up visiting, I went up to tuck him into bed.

"Aunta Siesha?"

"Yes honey?"

"Wanna see what sister found?" (sister, his nickname for, well, his sister.. aka my niece)

"Sure honey, that would be great!" (thinking she found a neat toy)

"Ok!" He proceeds to jump off the bed, and run over to the dresser. Now keep in mind, they were VISITING. So when they visit they stay with my sisters best friend, and I drive up and stay with them. My sisters best friend has a husband, two kids, and a manny (male nanny) who is one of their best friends. So all in all it was: Myself, my sister and her two kids, our friend, her husband, her two kids and the "manny". The "manny" gives up his bedroom to my sister and the kids when they visit and he takes the upstairs couch, while I take the downstairs couch. It is VERY hectic and crazy. So anyway.......

"Shoot aunta Siesha, she moved it"

"What is it honey? What did she find?"

"OH HERE IT IS!"

He proceeds to walk over and hand me a DVD. I'm thinking, cool, they found a nice wholesome kids movie!

Not so much.

He proceeds to hand me porn. Yep you heard me, PORN. Just the COVER of the DVD alone is enough to corrupt any young mind! (turns out my niece found it hidden away in a drawer or closet - but she had to DIG for it).

So, I'm thinking to myself, ok, aunta, this is pivitol, think, think, THINK!

Of course I do the only logical thing and say:

"Huh, that's interesting. Did you WATCH it?"

And he says.........

"Sister and Ellie did, but I didn't very much because it was... (HUGE pause)... WEIRD"

So I said the only logical NEXT thing which was:

"I'll be right back".

Of course he panics because he knows I'm going to go and tell his mom. (of COURSE I am, I'm just the AUNT I give out CANDY not lessons on what PORN is!).

I walked downstairs, made sure none of the other children were present, and said "guess what my beautiful nephew just handed me!" and proceeded to throw it onto the coffee table.

The next few minutes are a blur at best.. there was yelling and blaming and yelling some more, followed by laughter (that was me. LOL), and then some more yelling.

Meanwhile upstairs:

My nephew is laying in bed FREAKING OUT. His mom goes up and DEMANDS to know what happened, so he's trying to tell her and he's crying and I'm just shaking my head. She then proceeds to FLY downstairs to confront my niece. (Oh, in case I didn't mention it, my niece is 10, Ellie - the one she watched the film with, well she's a big whopping 5. Ya. 5!).

So I crawl onto the bed with my nephew, and I say:

"Honey, you did the right thing. Please always come to ANY adult anytime you find something that you don't know what it is, or you have any questions".

And he says:

"Am I in trouble? I don't want to be in trouble! What WAS that anyway".

I kissed him on the forehead, told him I loved him VERY much - and went and got his mother.

And that, my friends, is how the AUNT handles porn. ;o)

P.S. - no one was hurt in the viewing of the porn. Everyone seems to have come away unscathed by the whole incident. The porn has been removed from the house, and all the children are safe, and they now know they can come to Aunta Siesha whenever they want me to hug them and tell them that I love them, and they should go to their MOTHER with porn questions.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006 

I swear things will go back to normal

AFTER SUNDAY!!!

New funny:

In a school just outside of Pittsburgh, a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Steeler's fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Steeler's fans too. Not really knowing what a Steeler's fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all went up into the air. However, there was one exception. A little boy named Timmy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different... "Because I am not a Steeler's fan" says Timmy. The teacher then asked, "What are you?" Timmy said "I'm a Seahawk's fan." The teacher was a little perturbed now, her face slightly red, she asked Timmy why he was a Seahawk's fan. "Well, my mom and dad are Seahawk's fans so I'm a Seahawk's fan too." The teacher was now angry. "That's no reason" she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?" Timmy smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Steeler's fan."

And that's my SECOND Seahawks funny for the day!!!

It really will go back to normal after Sunday, I swear. ;o)

 

SWEET!















Kinda speaks for itself.... LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!